| As an emerging young actress in 1968,
I now had a top press agent named Rupert Allen. He was
older, and a very cultured and respected West Coast press
agent. He was also a close friend of Princess Grace of
Monaco. He was a kind and intelligent "guide"
for me. I needed it. A lot was happening. I now had all
the attendant people for a "rising young star"
: a press agent, an agent, a business manager, a nanny
and an assistant. I was 22. I also had a new husband and
a newly born baby. On one New
York press trip, it had been arranged for me to be
photographed for Vogue by Richard Avedon. Polly Melon
directed the photo shoot for Diana Vreeland, the editor
of Vogue. This was a new experience for me. I was scared.
I had always been uncomfortable about having my picture
taken. I didn't understand it then, later I did. I didn't
feel safe unless the photographer was "with
me", cared about me even, or was simply attuned to
me. I didn't know Richard Avedon personally. I did know,
however, that he was a Master amongst photographers. His
work was awe-inspiring to me. I did not feel very
confident that I could give what would be needed in such
a shoot, as I was still very introverted. However, genius
that he is, he quickly realized I was a dancer. He put on
music that I loved, from classical to very primitive
drums and encouraged me to move.
Something truly
extraordinary happened. I actually felt like I was on
some kind of drug. As I danced, I began to open up and
free some very deep inner emotions. Before his eyes, and
his camera, I felt like I became many women, as I moved
to the music. He recognized it, and probably played a
part in it, simply by his gentle encouragement and his
unique, powerful yet subtle presence. It was as if we
danced together. It was a very creative and intimate
experience that felt very empowering. I literally felt as
if I uncovered parts of myself to myself with his eyes
and camera as my permission. It was the most satisfying
creative experience I had had, in many ways. It remained
a reference point for me of my emerging self. The photos
were in Vogue in 1968, and they received tremendous
reaction.
|
|