'69: Avedon

Photos

As an emerging young actress in 1968, I now had a top press agent named Rupert Allen. He was older, and a very cultured and respected West Coast press agent. He was also a close friend of Princess Grace of Monaco. He was a kind and intelligent "guide" for me. I needed it. A lot was happening. I now had all the attendant people for a "rising young star" : a press agent, an agent, a business manager, a nanny and an assistant. I was 22. I also had a new husband and a newly born baby.

On one New York press trip, it had been arranged for me to be photographed for Vogue by Richard Avedon. Polly Melon directed the photo shoot for Diana Vreeland, the editor of Vogue. This was a new experience for me. I was scared. I had always been uncomfortable about having my picture taken. I didn't understand it then, later I did. I didn't feel safe unless the photographer was "with me", cared about me even, or was simply attuned to me. I didn't know Richard Avedon personally. I did know, however, that he was a Master amongst photographers. His work was awe-inspiring to me. I did not feel very confident that I could give what would be needed in such a shoot, as I was still very introverted. However, genius that he is, he quickly realized I was a dancer. He put on music that I loved, from classical to very primitive drums and encouraged me to move.

Something truly extraordinary happened. I actually felt like I was on some kind of drug. As I danced, I began to open up and free some very deep inner emotions. Before his eyes, and his camera, I felt like I became many women, as I moved to the music. He recognized it, and probably played a part in it, simply by his gentle encouragement and his unique, powerful yet subtle presence. It was as if we danced together. It was a very creative and intimate experience that felt very empowering. I literally felt as if I uncovered parts of myself to myself with his eyes and camera as my permission. It was the most satisfying creative experience I had had, in many ways. It remained a reference point for me of my emerging self. The photos were in Vogue in 1968, and they received tremendous reaction.

I welcome your comments.

Home Up Summary More Photos 1965: New York '66: Meeting Ryan '67: My Son Alice B. Toklas '68: Warhol '69: Avedon