I have written my heart below, sharing one of the most special experiences in loving I have had with an animal. Jasper. He was extraordinary. There are three parts to my story of him. I invite you, if not plead with you to read to the end, as it has its own epic loop. The third part is a report by a truly gifted Animal communicator who shares Jasper’s experience of dying through his ‘words’, and his sharing his experience of being a ‘soul’, and the freedom of the eternal and his awareness to greater expansion. It is inspiring, if not heartbreaking for me on the human level of loss. We know animals are each part of their group soul until they are ready to individuate. He is well on his way to higher consciousness. I knew it while with him in the physical, and I know it now in the spirit. I am on the road traveling and processing his loss, and translating my experience of loving him to the spirit, knowing I will not again kiss or pet him. But, I am clear to share him with as big a world as I can. It helps my heart. Enjoy him.
I love you.
JASPER, January 28, 2017
Not All Who Wander Are Lost…JRR Tolkien
There is something about this Black cat. He wanders and yet he is not lost. I discovered him almost two years ago now. I would see him in our back yard. Our back yard is full of life. Full of birds, many flocks of birds, raccoon, possum, an occasional mountain lion, fox, coyote, ground squirrels, squirrels, and then this small black panther-like cat with piercing large golden eyes. I think I fell in love the first time I saw him. I am somewhat concerned that I really do mean I fell in love. I started putting food out for him not knowing what animal would get it. Occasionally I would see him eating it and the feeling of joy would overcome me. I began to track him. In other words, I was acutely aware of him and began looking for him. One day I came out our back door and he was sitting on the roof of the garage staring at me. I felt an intense connection and I knew the connection was mutual. He began to come around more. Eerily we began to come upon each other suddenly and we would just stop, freeze, and we would look at each other, fully taking in something mysterious and mesmerizing. I would softly speak loving words which I could tell he absorbed. My husband now noticed him and occasionally would report that he had claimed a bird dinner from amongst our flocks. I found myself understanding and being glad he had found something to eat. I must admit seeing him fly by the back of the house with a dangling baby ground squirrel tested my affections, but only briefly. He was teaching me something.
I decided to feed him just outside the back yard sliding glass door. I fed our cats on the inside of this door, and the black cat on the outside to see how the exposure to each other might go. I soon slid open the glass door and only a screen door remained between them, so if they chose to smell or do a dance, they could. My cats were inside cats as they were very domestic and I questioned their survival skills. They all proved curious. It was fun to see them relate. For now it seems relatively benign separated by a secure screen.
I was looking for a name for her or him. I could not get close to see which this was. I decided it was a girl because there was something so extraordinarily vulnerable about this cat and I sensed it was very sweet and even longing for connection. My heart was so involved and would leap with happy when my eyes would spot who soon became named Jasper. My husband named this creature Jasper and I looked it up. Jasper is masculine. Jasper is a Persian name and it means ‘bearer of Treasure’ and Jasper was the name of one of the Three Wise Men bearing gifts to the baby Christ. Aha. Good name certainly if proved a boy.
Slowly over time I began to watch Jasper’s habits and as he increasingly appeared to appreciate the food left for him twice a day and all of the sweet words caressing him up close and from afar. He began to come closer. My husband now as well had taken up the gauntlet of loving him. At feeding time, Jasper began to roll over in the dirt nearest the door, and the food, and it seemed an invitation. John and I at separate times would gently approach and soon we would be able to touch him and then he would dart away. I began to wonder where his gorgeous wild self would go in between breakfast and dinner. Where would he come from before breakfast. Where would he go after dinner.
I would see him on the top of walls, coming out of dense luscious undergrowth and flowers in the garden. I began to see him stretched like a languorous panther, noble and royal near the bird feeders and expressing no hunting behavior. I began to experience that he was feeling welcome as I would call his name when I left the house, when I returned and anywhere in between. I was sending love messages into the air hoping he would be bathed in them wherever he was listening. I knew, just knew, he was close at hand. He was wild and free and yet he was somehow beginning to return the loving. I could feel it in his soft looks and his rolling on his back in the dirt. He was now, after a year, allowing us to pet him and he was loving it. He began to put out his paw on our hand to say, please don’t stop. He now gives us his belly and his body to stroke to our hearts content. Occasionally he willingly allows me to pick him up and he does not resist at all. He nestles his head into the nape of my neck and I kiss him and whisper tender lullabies to him and he purrs so endearingly, not moving wanting it to last.
I love seeing him use our back yard as a giant kitty box. After relieving himself in the dirt amongst the flowers, he covers it with good manners. Not so long ago we discovered he was a boy. It was clear by the long scar on his belly that whatever was done was not so nicely done. He has not had an easy life and he carries a lonely quality.
One day my husband and I put a collar on him with a lovely crown shaped tag bearing the name of our other male cat. Something changed in Jasper with that collar. He loves it. He acts like he knows that now he has a family. He belongs to a family. He belongs to our hearts. He owns it and he acts like it. We now close off the upstairs bedroom from the other cats and leave a window open for him. He either sleeps outside our bedroom window each night awaiting his morning Jasper greeting and massage, or he comes in through the window and carefully roams and explores our room. If it is storming he sleeps near our bed on a soft mat for him. We honor him for his wandering as sometimes he leaves for a day or two and I fret missing him knowing he is in the wild. I know that we are blessed with his presence however much he chooses to give himself to us. We get the blessing of loving him. When he returns, he knows deeply he belongs and for the moment he has reached a destination.
JASPER…August 8, 2017
My dearest animal friend has passed
Jasper, my dearest animal friend, has passed into Spirit by the grace of the coyote. Being in the home of the Traveler, profoundly cherished by myself and by John, with loving and respect for his freedom to come and go through our bedroom window, and then being ‘slain’ is a teaching story. It is not arbitrary. Jasper is teaching me something and I feel it, I know it. My heart is raw, hurt, aching and receptive and eager to learn the message.
You see Jasper was a wild cat, a ferrel cat. He was black, all black with golden green startling eyes of acute instinctive intelligence. He had the willingness to look directly at you and hold the look with genuine connection. He was noble and wherever he was, you sensed a unique awareness. He was riveting to me. He moved like silk and velvet. Stealthy but available, furtive but longing to touch. He had very long needle-like talons, and front paws that moved at the speed of light.
The first time I really saw him, other than flash appearances in our large and wild garden, was on top of the garage staring intently at me. He was in Sphinx position. It was electric. I was frozen, staring back at him. I think in that moment, a moment still alive in my memory, I fell in love with him.
He began to appear in all sorts of places. The roof, outside a window, the top of the driveway wall, in a tree. With a year of loving and nurturing up close, and from afar when respectful distance was what he needed, he eventually became our nighttime companion. He slept with us and embraced the incredible amounts of cuddling and petting and fun we shared each evening. We passed through the stage of his nighttime delivery of ‘presents’ and the colorful and gooey messes on our white carpet in the morning. He learned through our love and consistency, that HE himself was the present he was bringing to us. It took some discipline and some direct coaxing. Our message was that he could relax and learn that we felt blessed by him alone, and the rest he could leave outside. He finally got it after our many run-ins with live mice and rats.
Many months followed of joyful time together that filled my heart. There was little I wanted to do more than be around him. The connection was so powerful for me that it was mysterious. I often found him sleeping on my pillow throughout the day. A relief I am sure, from having to hunt to survive and being on constant vigilance from the abundant wildlife around our property. He was peaceful and happy and he was claiming our home as a welcome home for him. I loved going up to our room many times a day with any excuse just to see him and kiss him. Every time I saw his panther beauty on my white pillow, my heart lifted up in happiness. I felt that he was God’s special gift for me. I would lean down, my hair falling over his blackness, and respectfully encircle him with my arm. He often reached out his paw, pull in his nails and pat my cheek or lick my hand until it was really clean. He opened a deep and truly innocent and joyful place in my heart. He restored this place in me. My truest self.
I thrilled that he received my loving with no resistance. He trusted me and except for John, he trusted no one else. I trusted him with my heart and I surrendered to his beingness completely. It was so wonderful being all open in my heart. I loved kissing him on his sweet head. I loved his noble head. I would whisper into all his cells with intent, ‘Jasper boy, I love you, God bless you, Peace be still’. I know he loved my voice and my talking to him in full conversation. I often prayed over him and asked Jesus if Jasper could be his Christ kitty, and be protected in the wild. When he would come in through his window, he loved stretching out full length and sort of slide along the carpet towards me, and turn his head upside down and look at me. I would get down on the floor and stretch out long like him, gently slide towards him and turn my head upside down look at him, reach out and hold his paw. And we would just look at each other. It was a grand Romance.
I was concerned about leaving for two weeks for work with my husband, as I knew Jasper and my rhythm was so mutually personal, and all of a sudden I would not be there. I told him all about our trip and tried to describe the nights we would be gone. I called several communicators who work with animals to tell him I am coming home to him, and arranged for the window to stay open and food placed every day. We have a lovely friend who cares for our home and other cats while we are away. Still I was unsettled. Evidently he came several times early on in the trip and then suddenly he did not show up at all. When I came home, it was a strange energy of pure void, pure emptiness. His life force was not anywhere. Not on our roof, our garden, our bedroom. Gone. Empty. I cried. I could not accept his loss. I missed him so. Several communicators felt he had been adopted in a home…but he was too wild. I knew that would not work well with his spirit as he could not be content incarcerated in a home, no matter how comfortable or well fed he might be. I felt his complete need for freedom and I felt his need to connect and be loved and to love. But I could not yet face the fullness of his possible death.
We were coming home from dinner at dusk a few days after our return, and on our lawn was a very relaxed coyote, sitting in a remarkable pose of ease and self possession. He was beautiful. He got up and did an amazing thing. Something Jasper did all the time, a double downward dog…forward and backward. I had not seen a dog do this, let alone a coyote and had not seen even cats do the depth of stretch in this way that Jasper had. I was taken aback and something in my psyche was taking note…was this a sign. He then trotted right in front of us.
And I dreamed of Jasper, and soon John told me he was in spirit and I let go with immense grief. It is not over. I am being altered by him, by this experience. What I realize that Jasper shared with me was his pure nature. His utter loving from every cell of his being, and his love of his freedom. He loved that open window. It was his window to come and go. His freedom respected, his nature trusted and respected, and his loving heart was certain and respected.
He is teaching me about death, the eternal spirit we all share, man and animal, and he is teaching me about the integrity of authenticity he demonstrated to honor who you truly are, and the adventure to enter new experience with trust and courage and willingness…..to explore, learn, grow and expand.
I want to share what singular event has set me on my new course to learn from this with every fiber of my being. His loss has been a great cost and I want it to be fertile for us both….It is the following report.
In the midst of my unknowing of where he was, I reached out to a very special woman Sue Irwin, an animal communicator, well trained by a master, Carol Gurney. I told her of my confusion and fear and asked her to communicate with him. I was open to all possibilities and I trusted her to ‘find’ him. I knew she would.
Here is the report she sent me. I found it profound, heartbreaking for me, but it has set me into a transformation whether I liked it or not. Loss of a loved one is like walking the sharp edge of a knife and you must learn to walk, but it hurts with every step.
JASPER, August 7, 2017
Jasper’s love and words for Leigh
I spoke with Jasper today, and I do feel he has indeed passed out of his physical body. I am so sorry to tell you this by email, but I think you wanted to know as soon as possible. I will be happy to go over my session with him with you on the phone, but I think you are not home right now so it might be difficult for us to get a time to talk. What I have done is typed up my transcript of my session with Jasper so you can know what he told me and hear his messages and not have to wait; it is attached. Please let me know if you have any questions and of course we can also talk about this when you have some time.
Please also know there is always a possibility I can be wrong about this; so if you want to keep your window open in case he is still in his body and wants to come in, please do so.
I hope this helps. This is really an awful thing to be dealing with when you have to be seeing to other obligations and helping others; my heart really goes out to you.
Communication with Jasper
Monday, August 7, 2017
Note from Sue: Animals communicate with thoughts, which I translate into words; also with images and feelings: both emotional and physical. I also sometimes get sounds and odors. You’ll see places in this transcript where I may refer to Images, Sounds, Odors and Feelings – these are the ‘Notes from Sue’
Sue, Animal Communicator: Jasper, Leigh told me you haven’t come home for about 10 days – can you tell me why?
Jasper: I am only able to come in spirit.
Sue: Does this mean you are no longer in your physical body?
Jasper: Yes, I am out of my body.
Sue: Can you tell me what happened?
Jasper: I made a mistake – I walked into something when I should have stayed away.
Sue: What did you walk into?
Image from Jasper: Jasper investigating a dark hole – in the ground – sort of in an embankment.
Jasper: I was “pounced on” from behind; gone quickly (I had the sense he was picked up in a creature’s mouth and shaken very hard; his neck snapped).
Sue: Do you know what it was that did this to you?
Note from Sue: I had the sense of an acrid odor – very gamey, bitter; then I had the sense this odor was the breath of the animal that pounced on him.
Sue: Did this happen at night?
Jasper: At “dusk”. It was something bigger than me.
Note from Sue: I got the sense of something grayish/blackish in color.
Jasper: It was strong.
Sue: Did it hurt?
Note from Sue: I had the sense of a very quick, sharp pain, then he was gone.
Then I flew out of my body.
Note from Sue: I had the sense of his spirit jumping out of his body.
Sue: Where did you go?
Jasper: I “hovered” for a bit, looking down.
Sue: What did you see?
Image from Jasper: a dog-like body with Jasper’s body
Sue: Can you show me what it looked like in the area where this happened?
Image from Jasper: A fence.
Note from Sue: The kind with thin upright slats close together with wire behind the slats, holding it together – it was sagging in places and looked old; this happened in a rocky, sandy area in a sort of culvert or depression in the land.
Sue: Where you close to home?
Jasper: Not far
Note from Sue: I had the sense of about ½ mile or less.
Sue: Where there any other critters around?
Note from Sue: The term “lone wolf” came to my mind; he meant this was one creature off by itself.
Sue: Where did you spirit go next?
Jasper: I knew what had happened
Note from Sue: Meaning he knew he had passed out of his body; sometimes when something happens very quickly it takes an animal a bit of time to realize they are no longer in their physical body; it seemed Jasper did know right away he was no longer in his body. I then had the sense of Jasper flying in spirit over his home – your house.
Sue: Where are you now?
Jasper: I go between
Note from Sue: Meaning he has gone between your home and the spiritual plane.
I would like to say goodbye to Leigh.
Sue: Can you tell me what she needs to do this with you; to connect to you?
Jasper: Sit quietly; close her eyes, I will appear.
Sue: Should she do this when she is at home?
Jasper: I can appear to her from any place, but home would work best for her.
Sue: What would you like me to tell her for you?
Note from Sue: It seemed he has things he feels he can tell you directly when you connect, but I know sometimes we don’t trust ourselves so here I was asking what I could relay to you.
Jasper to Leigh: Thank you for your love, care, respect: respecting who I am and what I wanted to do: be free – come and go, experience “human” love as well as being free and wild.
Leigh was a brief but “rich” part of my experience in this body, this lifetime.
Note from Sue: He is not minimizing your experience with him but rather emphasizing how large his total experience was in his most recent body. He is also saying he felt your connection/experience together, although brief was very rich, full, deep.
Jasper to Leigh:The “thread” does not need to be broken – it continues regardless of where I am and where she is; no matter what form we are in – in spirit or in body – it doesn’t matter.
Sue: Can you tell me what you mean by “thread”?
Jasper: Our heart connection, love, awareness of our being, our spirit/life force. We remain, we are, regardless of form.
Sue: Leigh misses you very much and feels sad…what would you say to her to help?
Jasper: Leigh, you know we go on. Use your “knowing” to help. We touch each other, then we pass: either move on in spirit form, or even just move on in physical form sometimes. But the time when we make that connection, the time when we touch each other’s soul, that is the essence of our time together. I am glad I had that time with you and with John.
Sue: Do you have any messages for John?
Jasper to John: A deep, rich, complex soul
Note from Sue: Here he is describing how he saw John.
Jasper to John: I had to wait to reach the tender places in his heart, but I did and I thank him for opening up to me and sharing those special places with me.
Note from Sue: I had the sense John was able to set aside all else on him mind at times and experience that connection with Jasper.
Sue: Are you OK?
Jasper: Oh, yes. This life was a bit shorter than I planned, but the “unexpected” can happen.
Sue: Can you tell me what you are doing now?
Jasper: “Experimenting” in this form.
Sue: Is this the first time you have been in spirit form?
Jasper: Oh, no, but it is the first time I have gone from cat to spirit.
Note from Sue: I had the sense he is sort of coming back to himself; growing beyond what he can be in a cat body, taking on more aspects than he could have in a cat body. I had the sense these aspects go beyond what a physical body/intellect can understand/comprehend.
Sue: Do you plan to reincarnate?
I don’t know yet. I need to regain my “fullness” then decide what I want to learn, experience and achieve next.
Sue: Do you feel you would ever reincarnate/come back to Leigh in a physical body?
Jasper: I don’t think so. I experienced being with her; her spirit, so next time I will choose someone/something else. That is me. I am not tied to any one person/place/form. I wish to experience as much as I can through many life times, many forms.
Sue: Is there anything else you want to tell me?
Jasper: Yes, a “message” for Holly: Thank you, too, for your love and care and understanding my needs, my choices, my desires to be free and able to choose who I wanted to “approach” and trust.
Note from Sue: I had the sense she did not force herself on him but let him decide, and he said: Yes!
Image from Jasper: Jasper with wings, flying
Jasper: Yes, it is a wonderful feeling.
Sue: Do you visit Leigh?
Jasper: I am not hovering around our home. But she can reach out for me anytime; I will be there.
Sue: Is there anything else?
Note from Sue: He sent strong feelings of gratitude and love to Leigh.